When I text...

Mostly in reverse chronological order.


Cellular mobile OUTBOX>>>

To David: You sure are taking an existential stance on this matter.

To Joe: Dreamt your parents and I were looking at beetles wearing reindeer head/costumes

Mass text: My drunk driving. Is amazing? I started drinking AT HOME! drove 40miles thru A TROPICAL STORM. Then back. Very drunk throughout. And alive. Wow!
Oct. 25, 2009 02:41:51am

To David: I like how you demanded to know who I am when I answered. :)
Oct. 26, 2009 07:24:54pm

To Joe (in consolation about his aunt's death): My fortune cookie says- "joy shared is doubled. Sorrow shared is halved." Hug!

To David (retweeted from textsfromlastnight.com): 1-"I came from walking." 2-"lol, u came?"

Mass text: Chaitanya to me- "u r really a crazy fat girl". lol!
Oct. 30, 2009 11:29:43pm

To David: Meowmeowmeow, *gnaws on your arm*. i am a squirrel. work is uneventful.
To me: Are you on something?

To unnamed: Don't choose pounding whiskey over pounding me. lololol.

To David (retweeted from textsfromlastnight.com): "Well, we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet chicks."

To David: Yr the only one who gets me, David.
Nov. 3, 2009 01:08:23am

To David: I often txt u under my covers late nite. Feels like sharing childhood and secrets with you.

To David: Alice is a backwards - not waywards - cecilia without the excess alphabetical baggage.. heh.

To David: Nacho and cheese + comedy central news with Joe. Tacobell + adultswim with you. Dietsoda and Moe's + movies with Paul. How will my future live up to my past?

Mass text: I just told Wayne I had daddy issues and asked him to be my father. I am a riot!

Mass text: Why is it that male models representing the pinnacle of masculinity are actually the most flaming of homosexuals?

Mass text: Chai-dawg was waitin on me to walk to the gym and I told him I was a minute away. He told me he was gunna wait for me outside so he could smoke a cigarette. Lol

To Naris: Pair of heels I can dance in? There's a friggin oxymoron if I've ever heard one!

To David: Feel awful want to puke dizzy vodka ow.
Nov. 22, 2009 02:20:00am

To David: Having trouble functioning lately. Think it's depression. ?.
Nov. 23, 2009 02:46:45am

To David: Told kat about my high alcohol tolerance and she congratulated me on no longer being a cheap date.
Nov. 26, 2009 01:00:40pm

Mass text: "People that go to NYU or LIU either have a lot of money or a lot of debt." - ME!!!

To David: Had an end of the world dream. I was one of the survivors and caught AIDs from sex. I was also a gay man.
Dec. 1, 2009 08:01:16am

To David: "THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN THE SHITTER!" Dkarma33, Netphoria 1999

To David: Also. i love u. cuz you are so hot. i want u in my vagina.
Dec. 6, 2009 01:12:02am

To David: There's light outside. It's probably beautiful. Head hurts and want to say I'm sorry for making an ass of myself once again. God, I'm so unhappy sometimes.
Dec. 6, 2009 06:43:28am

To David: Eatin sweet cheddar popcorn, hatin mel & steve for txtin me at 6am, SERIOUSLY thinking about gym.
Dec. 6, 2009 07:04:31am

To Mel: I feel SO SICK and the world is SO BRIGHT. Someone pls turn off the day. :'(
Dec. 6, 2006 8:49:10am

Mass text: I can't wait to go on the road to recovery AKA END OF THE SEMESTER.
Dec. 6, 2009 09:04:16am

To David: Coming my hair in the cold creates a lot of static electriciy. I hear the crisp crackle. Crazy. :)

To David: Ran 3miles nonstop. Breaked. 2miles more. All in 50mins. Level surface. Record.

To David: Left my yogurt in my bkbag for 20hours. Eating it now. It's not even watery. Because it's been SO COLD.

To David: This is the long, awkward subway line in which I will write my novel via texts.

To David: I always eat yogurt with a fork cuz that's all I have.

To David: Donna/Librarian: Can I take this? Me: u can take whatever u want, baby, just don't take my heart.


Cellular mobile INBOX>>>

From David: When i was a child, pt, to me, meant pteranadon

From David: Call me instead. I don't want to write that down

From David: No. Not calling u via library reference desk

From David: No. I told the girl I wouldn't

From David: No. Not if ur laughing at me

From Karen: Men suck

From Peter: try to sleep! tomorrow drink a lot of water. a lot! feel better ok? sleep

From David: Earlier, i guessed by your structure

From David: Wrn is terminally meh

From Karen: Too early to drink? Lol
Dec. 2, 2009 12:33:06pm

From David: That's on accont of ur weight

From David: Don't kill me

From David: Get over it. If can can cause torment, I shall.

From David: Is this some weird cute thing?

From David: J/k ces. They're funny. I just wonder how i'm going to use them now

From Anthony: (resisting urge for inappropriate witty remark)

From David: Wise

From David: What does pederast mean?

From David: How did you know that?

From David: No. Can't. On bed. Comfy.

From David: This is a good book.

From Melanie: I am hoping to end up more stuffed than our turkey 2nite :) Happy Thanksgiving! My mom also says the same... btw i miss you *hugs* :))

From David: I feel awful. I think I need to be healthier
Nov. 24, 2009 06:12:18pm

From David: Maybe i'll eat vegetables and do a few push-ups
Nov. 24, 2009 06:15:23pm

From David: I was just hammering. Then the neighbors complained

From David: Alex's wood thing. Ur alcohol weakness used to be cute

From David: Why were you drunk txting me at 4? Why would i regret dumping u if u die? I don't want to be dating a girl who dies. I don't want to spend all my time at the hospital.
Nov. 21, 2009 11:15:34am

From Wayne: Thank god for girls with daddy issues

From Wayne: I think I'm a better lover to you

From David: Thanks. U are a good friend

From Wayne: Hi. I think I passed out last night.

From Wayne: Really? I was inside you and fell asleep

From David: Don't cry

From Lee: I do miss hanging out with you

From Lee: Love ya

From Joe: It's very nice of you to offer my homeless cousin a place and to call my family. Thanks for your thoughts.

From Wayne: I need your wet pussy. Guess it's busy or tired.

From David: They like just being called minnies

From David: No quiere hablar conmigo?

From David: I ate ur chinee ramen

From David: Lets build a snowman

From David: Haha. Those asians are so cute

From Wayne: I'm thinking of you and getting off. Can u sneak away and talk to me

From David: The sky is brue

From David: Ur plenty qualified

From Peter: An event you can talk about to your grandchildren :) Do u need a ride back from the trainstation?

From Stephanie: you are adorable! im just kind of nervous that youll realize youre straight!

From Stephanie: you smell so good by the way!

From Diana: U have a new york area code?!?!
Step. 8, 2009 02:2848pm

From Diana: Thats very new yorker of u... Now you need to go & sleep with lots of guys, buy stuff u can't afford, & be rude to people lol

From David: Give me a dollar and i'll weigh u in at 130